Monday, August 22, 2011

Godzillapalooza #10: Godzilla's Revenge (1969)

Godzilla's Revenge (1969)
Monster Profile:


-HEIGHT: 190 feet
-MASS: 25,300 tons
-SPECIAL POWERS: Gabara has the ability to generate electricity from his hands, but he can only shock victims when he touches them. No projectile lighting here.
-BACKGROUND: Gabara is without a doubt the weirdest of all  of the Godzilla enemies. He looks like  a strange mix between a house cat and a toad and has a cackle that makes you want to slam your head into a brick wall. Theoretically, Gabara only exists in the dreams of a young boy and represents all of the bullies in his life. Within this boy's dream world, Gabara lives on Monster Island and bullies Minya.

"Godzilla's Revenge" revolves around a young boy, Ichiro, who is a big Godzilla fan. He gets bullied a lot and even kidnapped by escaped fugitives, but his escape is that he imagines he's on Monster Island where he talks and plays with Minya. Minya talks and he sounds like a moron, so already this movie continues to take bad turns. Minya is bullied by Gabara, just like Ichiro, and Godzilla teaches Minya to fight back (eventually Godzilla gets credit for beating the living crap out of Gabara). Ichiro takes the lessons of courage he learns from his imaginary friends, helps the police catch the criminals and beat up the bullies who tortured him. What's weirder is that after the seizure-inducing fight between Ichiro and the bullies, the bullies really like Ichiro and like become his best friends. That about sums up the movie. Whatever.

Oh my lord. As far as Toho goes, this is the worst of all of the Godzilla movies. And it came right after one of Toho's ultimate Godzilla creations. In the immortal words of James Rolfe, "This movie is the wet core of the smelly dog terd... There's nothing more sad than a grown man all alone, wallowing in his sorrows, watching Godzilla's Revenge." And that's exactly how I feel. Even the title makes no sense, there is never a single attempt at revenge, at least not by Godzilla, in this whole movie. This is when the series really started to be geared towards kids, so I guess this is a better one to watch when you're younger, but even then it's just awful.

All of the monster battles in this movie, excluding the ones with Gabara, are copied and pasted from "Son of Godzilla" and "Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster". Really? I mean I guess when you're real little you don't notice these things as much, but it's always bothered me. There's really not much else to say about this one. I guess it teaches a good lesson, to stand up for yourself and have courage. But it's just so weird. This movie really marks the climax of weirdness for the Godzilla series. Check it out if you're a big G-fan or just want to lose a few brain cells, but otherwise save yourself the trouble and skip it.

Best Part:
If there is a best part of this movie, I guess I'd have to say it's Minya's final battle with Gabara when Godzilla gets involved. It's actually kind of funny and Godzilla really kicks some ass. At one point Godzilla grabs Gabara by the arm and throws the annoyance over his shoulder like a bad wrestling move. It's satisfying because you're just as irritated with Gabara and his cackle as Godzilla and Minya are. I love it when Minya jumps on the seesaw-like rock and catapults Gabara into the stratosphere. "Homeward Bound" anyone? Here's a youtube gem I found: Godzilla's Revenge in 5 seconds...

My Ranking: #28

Up next, the WTFs continue with... "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster"

No comments:

Post a Comment